4 Surprising Things That Sabotage Friendships

great video! something i really needed to watch

Guilt. Do people make you feel it? Or do you feel it because people made you more of aware of your actions?

You knowingly kept extending your time not talking to your friend. You did it on purpose. You then complain when your friend called you out on it? Did you ever speak to him about guilt tripping? If not, then the friendship fell apart because of you.

In this it sounds like you both have responsibility for this friendship loss. But it sounds like he was trying to maintain the friendship while you were more concerned with him validly calling you out on your distancing. You felt guilty cause you knew he was at least partially correct.

If you haven't already, can you make a video on how to detect which friends to keep and which friends to cut off for your own good? Love your videos :)

Friendships are fickle. Honestly the best way to do anything with anybody is take advantage of anything they have to offer to better yourself, and once that runs out or they become more of a hassle than its worth, drop em.

so true

I don't agree. You should have challenged your friend to also call you, then he would have had the opportunity to grow himself. Also, you shouldn't just be friends with someone because they build you up but also enrich your life. And finally, if you split with a friend solely on that your interests have changed, you were never a good friend. Friends drift but true friends will encourage and cheer you on even if your goals are different.

I find your last point so relatable. I feel as though you can stick around in their lives, but there needs to be a common understanding and respect of the paths you have taken.

I look up to an older girl at our school (she's a writer like me) she's always me and admired my works,- English isn't our first language-so when speaking more than a language you use "terms" that you wouldn't naturally use in that language and that's where creativity emerges so you can say that we've invented our own mixed language.After a couple of and conversations I realized what an extraordinarily smart person she was and what an educated taste she had,especially after watching her favorite movies and reading her favorite books-I started to avoid her,I don't have the slightest clue why I do this,she said hi to me for like 9 times and I didn't say a word or even make a sound or a facial expression,I can't help it,I sometimes "gather together" smile and stutter whispering with a few nice words but mostly don't,she stopped saying hi!!

Relationship withdrawals or deposits. Friends don't have to join your self help pursuits, but if they are resisting your efforts they are making withdrawals you will have to educate them or end the friendship. You cant drag everyone to the top with you. And yes it can get lonely at the top.

wow, the guilt thing. So true!

Well Charlie what if the other person does not have integrity.
But that guilt is actually because he likes you. And you went ahead and destroyed such a good friend.
You are telling to live an artificial life here can't believe this is happening. I was hoping to find some thing new.
How do you deal with jealousy. I feel jealous of all my rich enemies and I still am a beggar.

One thing that really got in the way of an old relationship of mine with an ex (And i was guilty of this at the time as well.) was pushiness. We had a lot in common but politically our values were very different. Provided we didn't bring it up at all everything was good, but the problem was that we started to really get competitive with one another and eventually it caused the relationship to fizzle out and eventually end, because we didn't treat our differences like conversations, but more like arguments.

I know now that it's sometimes better to just let go of that stuff. No matter what your ideology is. Don't give it up, be who you are, but don't let it lead to fights with friends you disagree with. Don't let it stop you from associating with people who hold different views.

I'm not sad about the relationship or anything, in fact i'm happy that I learned from it. This happens with a lot of different friends of mine and the same girl, so i don't think she really leaned her lesson. I did, though, and realised its important not only in intimate relationships, but also friendships as well.

Hey, I´m from Costa Rica. Glad to hear you lived here.

Liked for acknowledging your grandma set up, haha, and the good advice.

Don't get me wrong, but are you saying that you're not friends with that one guy anymore because he told you when you fucked up? Honestly, if you have a friend like that, you should be happy and try to keep that friendship up because those kind of friends are rare. Real friends should be able to do real talk and criticize each other, be honest to each other. The fact that you stopped being friends with over not being able to handle and appeciate his honesty makes it seem like you have a quite unsecure and weak character.

What you described with that other friend you were on the phone with and who was saying nice things about you to make you feel good is something you see people doing who are very popular. I've met several people in my lifetime who where super popular and they all did this excact same thing: telling everyone how awesome they are. But seriously, that's not what a friend is for and it sure is dishonest. Sadly most people won't even notice this behavior or call it a bad thing, since they're all too busy loving the attention they get.

If you can't tell each other what you really think as friends, then that friendship is basically worthless. It's what separates real friends from fake friends.

When did Charlie learn Spanish?

very handsome guy ;)

great videos

I go out of my way daily to tell people they look nice (often people I don't know), I stop them in the hallway and just say something nice about their appearance. And honestly it's one of the best things to do if you want to make your day a bit happier. Everyone is so surprised if someone acts nice to them, because we don't do it so often anymore. So by all means: you want to be a bit happier everyday? Start noticing nice things and point them out. x